Can People Change?

I was discussing this with a friend the other day and I'm still thinking about this question.

The question is, can people REALLY change. Like completely change their character and the type of person that they are?

Of course you can change things about yourself. Your weight, your habits, your friends, whatever. But can you change WHO you are. For example, I am a type-A person. I like structure, organization, my friends make fun of me because I have a plan for everything, 2 years into the future. (They're right and in some cases, it's more than two years.) I'm also competitive, I constantly compare myself to others, and I'm sensitive. I'm not great at small talk, get anxiety over silly things and tend to be an introvert.

So. Can these traits about myself every be changed? I don't know. I think some things can. I could practice my small talk and get better at it. I could stop organizing everything (but why?) and I could work on being less anxious about everything. But is it possible for me to actually stop comparing myself to others? Or stoping being a sensitive person? Could I stop being competitive? Or are these personality traits that completely engrained into me and can never be fully stripped?

I was specifically thinking about comparing myself to others. I thought to myself, I need to just stop comparing every part of my body and my character and my skills to others. And then I thought about what that would REALLY look like and I realized that it just seemed ridiculous to think that I could actually stop thinking about other people in that way. I mean, I go to the gym (like 4-5 times a week) and I am always looking at people and comparing my body to theirs. Healthy? Probably not, but how else can I measure how I'm doing? After I had Max and he was about 3 months old, I started going to the gym. At home, I would put on my loosest yoga pants and my most flowy tops and I would think, that doesn't look SO bad... but then as soon as I got to the gym, and I would look in all the mirrors in the class I was in (seriously, why do all the classes have SO many mirrors?!) and I would realize how huge I looked. I mean, yes, I just had a baby, so it's to be expected, but it literally crushed me every time. It's getting better now. I still have a long way to go, but I think I've made progress.

Then there is the SAH mom verses the working mom. I do believe that we have made the right choice for our family for me to stay home, but I still sometimes compare myself to others who have made a different choice, or even sometimes the same choice. I think, so they get to have that extra income... that must be so nice. I wonder what they are doing with the extra income? I wonder what we could do with an extra income... and I start comparing our lives.

Also, you know those people who are like genuinely extremely happy and nice ALLLLL the time? I mean, I think I'm a pretty happy person, but those people who act like Mary Poppins 24/7. I think to myself, why can't I just be like that? Why can't I be extremely pleasant and happy all the time. Why isn't it second nature for me to include everyone and ask all the right personal questions? Is that something that be changed? My gut tells me no. You are who you are. I think you can improve on things like this, but I'm not sure you can totally change.

What do you think?