Happy Mother's Day
This is my first Mother's Day. Technically. I guess last year I was sorta a momma since Max was in my belly, but I to be completely fair, I had no idea what being a Momma was really going to entail at that point.
At this point I've been a Momma for almost (on Wednesday) 8 months. And honestly, the emotions and feelings that I have about being a Mom are almost too much for me to put into words. But I'm going to try.
1. The day I gave birth was by far the hardest day of my life. Actually the whole process was definitely MORE than 1 day, so really it was over the course about 3 days. But holy cow. If we didn't make such cute babies, Max would be an only child. (relax, this is not a pregnancy announcement.) I remember the day after Max was born I remember thinking to myself, "I have never experienced something SO HARD before in my life." But you know what? He's worth it. He's a precious little baby who needs his Momma and Daddy and I love that he's all mine.
2. I wasn't sure how I would feel about quitting my full time teaching job and staying home with Max, but I actually love it. I love laying on the floor with him every morning and afternoon and playing with him. Now that he can sit properly in shopping carts, I like going on little errands with him. Just the two of us. (Confession, before he could really sit, I was actually a little panicked to take him anywhere because I couldn't figure out how to safely use a stroller/carseat AND a shopping cart... it definitely complicated things.)
3. We had SO MANY feeding issues in the beginning (definitely a post for another day), but I am happy to report that at this point, I love feeding him (even if he is a little wiggly.) When he was a baby he had to hold onto my finger while eating, and now that he's a little older, he likes to play with my hair or turn and look at me. It's absolutely precious.
4. That giant grin he gives me after I go in after a nap or in the morning melts me. Seriously, I just have to pick that baby up and give him a good squeeze or I feel like I might burst.
5. The snuggles. I don't know if it's the teething or if he's just becoming an affectionate baby, but recently, he is perfectly happy cuddling on my lap. He puts his little legs around my waist and lays his head down on my chest and it's absolute perfection. How do I freeze these moments forever?
6. Becoming a momma has also helped me become more selfless. Sure, I am still selfish sometimes (aren't we all, at times?) but having the responsibility of taking care of this tiny human has made me realize that my needs do not come first. His needs come first. It's my job to take care of that sweet precious baby and I will do everything I possibly can to make sure that he's safe and cared for. With exception of putting my mask on first before his in the event of a loss of oxygen on an airplane. (They specifically come around and tell me that every time I fly with him...)
7. I am also now an obsessive picture taker. I literally have a picture from every single of Max's life. We use this app called Tiny Beans and you can upload pictures every day for your friends and family to see. Since we are so far away, it's a great way for all of our loved ones to keep up with his growth and development. However, I now have more pictures than I could ever even imagine. You want a picture from December 14th - there are 7 of them. How about March the 21st? 12 photos and 3 videos. April 18? 13 pictures and 2 videos. I could go on, but you get the picture... ;-)
I have a lot of other thoughts about motherhood, but I think I'll stop here for now. It's so exhilarating and confusing and joyful and exhausting, but my little baby boy is totally worth it.
